Author Topic: Hidden  (Read 1659 times)

Offline :Lost:

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Hidden
« on: March 12, 2005, 03:12:39 PM »
I love, I love one who will never love back.
Wishing she could see me beneath this mask.

Afraid, afraid of what others have said.
I hide afraid I will just be read.

I look, I look at the radiant moonlight and cry.
If only I could give this to her and she’d be mine.

Slipping, slipping through the cracks of truth.
Why must I lie for no reason and become a fool.

I hate, I hate everything I am and everything I try to be.
Why can she not see underneath these mask of misery.

Why can she not love me?

Offline Waffo

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Re: Hidden
« Reply #1 on: March 13, 2005, 04:34:16 PM »
It's great!  I like the repetition.


"My brain told me there was a chair behind me but halfway to the floor, my brain told me it lied." -Me
"I've forgotten more than you'll ever know."
Currently playing: Rewrite

Offline :Lost:

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Re: Hidden
« Reply #2 on: March 13, 2005, 04:57:49 PM »
Thank you. ^.^
I'm so glad I pulled off the rhyming so well.

Offline PrinJess

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Re: Hidden
« Reply #3 on: March 15, 2005, 08:01:37 AM »
One of your better poems, Ritz! Keep it up!

Swim upsteam, for the beginning starts there.

Offline Aoshi101

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Re: Hidden
« Reply #4 on: March 15, 2005, 08:38:45 AM »
Good job Lost. I agree with Waffo and Lost. The repitition and ryhming were excellent.

Temp sig set from a long time ago, only until I get around to making a new one. Been ages.

 

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