Author Topic: A breakdown...  (Read 3693 times)

Offline PrinJess

  • Cloud of Nightmares
  • Addict
  • ****
  • Posts: 1138
  • Gender: Female
  • Eh? Hrmm...
    • Ocean Healer
A breakdown...
« on: November 25, 2004, 04:00:27 PM »
Okay, my breakdown started when I went downstairs at 7 in the morning and mom was having trouble with the T.V because the cat took out some wires in the middle of the night. So, being sick and coughing my brains out I watched her struggle with the wires. Then, she became possessed of this unneccesary rage and couldn't control her anger. Then, she started heading towards me with rude remarks and deadly actions. She hit me so hard on the arm, I thought my arm would be cut off or something; it left such a mark. Then, after discussing about I don't care about my health and all that, she said she wanted me to die. Then, I ran upstairs to my room and cried until my eyes fell off. I was shaking and then I fell to the floor, fearing of everything around me. Damn, that was scary.

To prevent it from happening again, I need a way to suppress the anger I have about everything around me and not let it turn into another breakdown. So, this is where I ask for help from you guys. If anybody has had my experience before or has a theory in some way, please tell me your methods to help be rid of this obsession to kill. And I do go to therapy because of this by the way, so if that's one of your ways to help, it's already been taken into effect.  :(

Swim upsteam, for the beginning starts there.

Offline Spike Spiegel

  • Addict
  • ****
  • Posts: 1659
  • Gender: Male
Re: A breakdown...
« Reply #1 on: November 25, 2004, 04:03:56 PM »
Start smoking and hang out with alot of friends all of the time. I don't know if that's A plus advice but it's what I'm giving you. ;)

Filippo Inzaghi is da man. Also, Italy is da man. AC Milan is also da man just as equally.

Offline PrinJess

  • Cloud of Nightmares
  • Addict
  • ****
  • Posts: 1138
  • Gender: Female
  • Eh? Hrmm...
    • Ocean Healer
Re: A breakdown...
« Reply #2 on: November 25, 2004, 04:05:21 PM »
Start smoking and hang out with alot of friends all of the time. I don't know if that's A plus advice but it's what I'm giving you. ;)

Well, two things with that. One; I have asthma so smoking is suicidal and I don't have much friends.

Swim upsteam, for the beginning starts there.

Cherry

  • Guest
Re: A breakdown...
« Reply #3 on: November 25, 2004, 07:59:13 PM »
Make some kind of a hobby, or something healthy to take out your anger, like learn kickboxing or karate or even yoga, anything that will calm you down. reading what you post made me so sad :( i hope you feel better...*huggles*

Offline Yukio

  • Addict
  • ****
  • Posts: 1080
  • Gender: Male
  • Do we dare fight against fate? Or do we live on?
Re: A breakdown...
« Reply #4 on: November 25, 2004, 08:10:46 PM »
Ya Jewelz advice actually works since I used kickboxing and boxing because I had a quick temper sometimes. But of course learning how to kickbox might not be to good, now  that I think about it.

Offline Spike Spiegel

  • Addict
  • ****
  • Posts: 1659
  • Gender: Male
Re: A breakdown...
« Reply #5 on: November 25, 2004, 09:03:40 PM »
Yeah, that just seems like it would make your problem worse.

Start smoking and hang out with alot of friends all of the time. I don't know if that's A plus advice but it's what I'm giving you. ;)

Well, two things with that. One; I have asthma so smoking is suicidal and I don't have much friends.

So. I have a friend who has asthma and he smokes. Well, he used to; he stopped now. Anyway, you can still do it. I'd go with what Jewelz said if you don't want to start smoking. Try to avoid you mom as much as possible. Stay out. Even if you have nothing to do. Just walk. I love to take a walk at night and sing when I get angry at someone in my house. It really helps.

Filippo Inzaghi is da man. Also, Italy is da man. AC Milan is also da man just as equally.

Offline PrinJess

  • Cloud of Nightmares
  • Addict
  • ****
  • Posts: 1138
  • Gender: Female
  • Eh? Hrmm...
    • Ocean Healer
Re: A breakdown...
« Reply #6 on: November 26, 2004, 08:51:43 AM »
Yeah, that just seems like it would make your problem worse.

Start smoking and hang out with alot of friends all of the time. I don't know if that's A plus advice but it's what I'm giving you. ;)

Well, two things with that. One; I have asthma so smoking is suicidal and I don't have much friends.

So. I have a friend who has asthma and he smokes. Well, he used to; he stopped now. Anyway, you can still do it. I'd go with what Jewelz said if you don't want to start smoking. Try to avoid you mom as much as possible. Stay out. Even if you have nothing to do. Just walk. I love to take a walk at night and sing when I get angry at someone in my house. It really helps.

So your friend smokes. His asthma is probably not like mine. I have an asthma attack with secondhand smoke. But thanks anyway.  :) (and walking at night; I may get attacked by a bear ;))

And I do have some hobbies. Drawing usually does the trick, but the most I get out of is writing. If some bad things happen to me, I write it in my book. For example:

"I wanted to ignore life but I’m living it; you really can’t ignore everything even if you wanted to. Maybe my life is not worth living. I’m a classified person, so you don’t know what I’m feeling about myself. I just hated everything about me; the way I look, the way I am with some people, and most importantly, I hated everybody." ---Cloud of Sorrow

Writing about my life (with a little fiction mixed in) is how I reduce my anger. It makes my story character experience the life I'm going through. Unfortunately, all it does is reduce; I can't get rid of it completely.
                                       

Swim upsteam, for the beginning starts there.

Offline weredragon

  • I hate my mother.
  • Budding Addict
  • ***
  • Posts: 513
Re: A breakdown...
« Reply #7 on: November 26, 2004, 11:17:16 AM »
Well I had a breakdown of some sort once. Okay, mom was mad and gave me some stupid stupid chore, long story short about it, something fell on me and I hurt my back, mom yelled at me for being stupid and it was my fault I got hurt, I got mad at her since it was her fault and yelled at her, I got sent to my room.

So I went to my room and thought about it and decided to apoligize to mom so I wouldn't get grounded for a month, but when I went back and started talking to her she started yelling at me again and picked up a coffee mug and threw it at my head and I just sort of snapped.

I ran to my room as fast as I have ever freaking ran in my life and jumped on my bed and collapsed on it and started screaming and sobbing and my mom came in and told me "If you don't shut the hell up I swear to god I will fucking kill you right now." Well that didn't help at all and I screamed louder, but obviously I'm not dead, she just threatened to kill and maim me a few more times and then left.

I then threw up on the floor and curled up in the fetal position on the floor of my closet and screamed uncontrollably everytime I heard anyone move in the house, until I calmed down a few hours later.

Interestingly enough, my friend Brandi had something similar to this happen to her at the same time this happened to me, she called me the next day to tell me about it and said it was really strange because as far as she could tell nothing triggered it, she just totally flipped and lost it.

Cherry

  • Guest
Re: A breakdown...
« Reply #8 on: November 26, 2004, 01:09:20 PM »
Oh wow..that's scary >.<

I don't have many breakdowns, if not at all..so far..Going on nightwalks relaxes me soooo much too Spike :] and i love going out at night, it clears my head and i love star gazing.

PrinJess, whatever you do, DO NOT do anything you will regret, like drugs it's just stupid and unhealthy, well i dont think that will be a problem anyways since you have asthma ^_^
« Last Edit: November 26, 2004, 01:09:43 PM by Jewelz »

Offline Angel of the moon

  • me another one?
  • Addict
  • ****
  • Posts: 1839
  • Gender: Female
  • Stewie shall rule the world!!!
Re: A breakdown...
« Reply #9 on: November 26, 2004, 07:04:32 PM »
If she wanted u to die.. then i would run away and not sleep at her house as long as she wsa in the rag. Cause.. that would scare the crap out of me. And... if it left a mark on ur arm.. call the child abuse center. Yea... i got abused once. My mom smaked me aross the head with the board.. 4 times. but. i'm ok now.. i think. >.< Well if u need to talk to me... i will pm u..my # anyways.. and only call when i say to.. ok. * huggles* i hope u get better hun. :-*
Fuck this fucking world. I don't belong here. I belong.. with someone like me. Someone nice who actually has feelings. who tries not to hurt other people. That would be nice. actually once -n- awhile... i wonder if there is a part on the world that is like that. I don't think so, cause the way people treat me. I mean, i don't try to hurt people, but, y'all do. People never understand me. Never have. Never will. So  just run away.

Offline PrinJess

  • Cloud of Nightmares
  • Addict
  • ****
  • Posts: 1138
  • Gender: Female
  • Eh? Hrmm...
    • Ocean Healer
Re: A breakdown...
« Reply #10 on: November 27, 2004, 05:46:05 PM »
It's not the fact that she hit me, it's that she threatened to kill me, which I have seen a zillion times before from her. And I wouldn't call the cops on mom just because she slapped me. She thinks I'm still a child for god's sake. Thank god it's over and I'll prevent it from happening again.  :-\

Swim upsteam, for the beginning starts there.

Offline shadow

  • WoLvEs RuLe
  • Slightly Buzzed
  • **
  • Posts: 354
  • Gender: Female
  • Wolves Of The USA
    • Anime Shadows
Re: A breakdown...
« Reply #11 on: November 27, 2004, 08:46:46 PM »
*lock urself in a closet
I tell you now the words of Red Moon.
The Wolf was born from the Great Spirit, and man became it's messenger
 

Offline zeta

  • Empress Of California
  • Addict
  • ****
  • Posts: 1506
  • I'm alive!
Re: A breakdown...
« Reply #12 on: November 27, 2004, 08:57:48 PM »
*lock urself in a closet

How does that help anything?

On a related note, my mother still treats me like I am seven. She's diagnosed bi-polar, and sometimes she flat out threatens to kill me... I'm scared to death of her to be honest... But I don't let it show when she around.

A week ago she threatened to rip my hair out and kill me, to which I snapped and replied. "Yeah, you fucking try it bitch..." The more I think about it, the more I hate her...
Hello!

Cherry

  • Guest
Re: A breakdown...
« Reply #13 on: November 28, 2004, 08:28:12 AM »
That's really sad...this makes me more appreciative of my mother, cuz my mom doesnt do any of that, shes a great mom <3


Oh yeah~ PrinJess, how old are you? like 15?

Offline PrinJess

  • Cloud of Nightmares
  • Addict
  • ****
  • Posts: 1138
  • Gender: Female
  • Eh? Hrmm...
    • Ocean Healer
Re: A breakdown...
« Reply #14 on: November 28, 2004, 02:51:04 PM »
That's really sad...this makes me more appreciative of my mother, cuz my mom doesnt do any of that, shes a great mom <3


Oh yeah~ PrinJess, how old are you? like 15?


Yeah. What does age have to do with it? Until I turn 18, I'm a "child." Still, my mother can't boss me around like I'm 2 years old all over again.

Swim upsteam, for the beginning starts there.